The Raven and the Crow

"By the by, why were you so fascinated by Death?"

"Had been since I was young. I am a mystic. I'm so fascinated by the transmigation of the soul from the body."

"Oh. So, what is your reaction when you die?"

"The Light. So beautiful."

"So it wasn't so dark and dreary after all!"

Remember when you told me it's better for me to slow down and take one day at a time? Thanks for teaching me that, Edgar. It's a good method for me to endure heartbreak and sorrow and unpack in a way I know how...because it's a form of love and expression.

He gave me a warning using my Oracle of Visions deck that he will say good-bye soon. I have sensed that Mr. Poe is going to be temporary leaving me and he left me once we met closure. And well, he left, leaving me to ponder what my lessons means to me. I figured it out because I don't have that Southern drawl voice in my head.

I won't know when he comes back, but things are getting very stressful in my home, that I need to say good-bye to him and call back my original guides for help and create new projects. He understands and actually wanted to leave too, and will return when there's a call and need for his help.

I know spirits tend to come and go, aiding the people on Earth with spiritual lessons. I learned many good lessons about him: About my broken relationships with my father and mother, about what's broken can be mended again, about myself, about suffering, about real love, forging good communications and inviting new friends, healing and learning to care for another, and having faith that magic comes from learning one's life from another and understanding one another, and I'm glad we're friends.

Until next time, Mr. Poe, I hope to see you soon.

This song reminds me of him. I bet we all wanna go Home at several different point in our lives.

~
Almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.
Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze.
Country roads, take me home to the place I belong.
West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads.

All my memories gather round her, miner's lady, stranger to blue water.
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky, misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye.
Country roads, take me home to the place I belong.
West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads.

I hear her voice in the morning hour she calls me, the radio reminds me of my home far away.
And driving down the road I get a feeling that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday.
Country roads, take me home to the place I belong.
West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads.
Country roads, take me home to the place I belong.
West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads

So during dinner with my mother and I, I'm mentally recieving ideas and thoughts from Edgar (with his wife Virginia quietly on stand-by and observing, and offering suggestions). We were having a very lively conversation and thoughts and ideas for a future work. Through the tarot divinations, I keep getting from Edgar that he wasn't certain or sure how this is going to work, because I wasn't very clear. I started out as "friends" and "lovers" as a template/module to unravel and open the can of karmic whoop-ass in the area of relationships of our lives.

We discussed a lot about what is romantic love and it's nature, and the dynamics of relationships, and comparing ourselves to the relationships to others. H.P Lovecraft was thrown in the mix, but I figured he's a very quiet professor-like person who preferred solitude and he isn't drawn to us at the moment. We even discussed the thought of children, because I learned for that single lifetime, he and Virginia have no children at all. Their dire situation, poverty, tradegy, and losses wouldn't allow them to have children, let alone to sustain them.

Funny enough, he's more interested in my comparison to his relationship to Loki and Sigyn. Poe is very well-versed in mythology and maybe knows a little more than me at this moment. Sigyn was interpreted as a "child-like" bride by some Lokean researchers and followers as their UPG. My reaction toward "child-bride" is that of....face-palm worthy is a nice way to put it, because for many years, I saw Sigyn as a grown-up woman who stood her ground well.

I said, "Loki is a very different entity." Plus, the Loki I know and cared about isn't the Loki known to people, because my Loki is actually a name and aspected energy I given to a spirit guide.

Anyway, we discussed things furthur. There's a certain discomfort of being lovers and spouse because there is a mention of Godspouses in the mix. I know it's not totally safe to say, "Oh, I'm a wife of the spirit of Edgar." Because that make absolutely no sense at all and it was total dramatic horseshit by itself already hahaha, and I wanted to shed my ego and my pain. And I made plans to go back to my main spirit husband, Arthur.

Plus another main reason was because if this legacy of pointless marriages and proposals continue, then we haven't learn anything from our mistakes in the past. Plus, the point of this relationship is spiritual lessons and learning a lot from each other by playing roles.

It's safe for people to be a spouse/devotees of the deities and gods, because it's a Universal Spirit that is available to all for the spiritual assistance, but Edgar is a singular soul and entity that has taken a lot of damage in one single lifetime to advance his own spirit.

So I said to him, "Well, you and Virginia have no children. Have you ever experience what is like raising a child?" Because I can named how many numerous women just imagined having astral/spirit children and pregnancies to the point of absurdity.

"Virginia always wanted to raise babies." Edgar said. "But we're too poor to let alone raising one."

With some thought, "Why not try to be a father-like figure? You know, you can still mentor me and treat me like a child and a student, plus I figured you wanted daugthers anyway. Because I'm an adult already, I can take care of myself, and it's much better this way."

I felt an encouragement and nudging Virginia like this idea and she wanted to play along too, and have some fun. To my surprise, she is very nice and felt very animated and lively, even around me. I was afraid of being disliked, but I'm learning so much in the area of compassion and empathy, and not feeling guilt or burden in what happened in the past (or worrying about the future).

"Why a good idea. I like that. I like that very much." And Edgar feel pleased.

I feel there is much food for thought to reflect and meditate upon, and we come to our full closure of much learning and advancement of like mind and spirits.

And what's amazing is that up until now, I didn't discuss about aliens and starseeds with Edgar, at least...not yet. We're just unraveling the our memories and our lives, as if in fond nostalagia, everything else is history.

So there you have it, this is how I become a child and mentor of Poe. And that make a LOT of sense, because then I can expand the shrine and journal more, since I mentioned Hecate as my mother too, and being her child.

I'm learning from Poe's mistake from the past, especially concerning where Fatherhood is concerned. Poe parents abandoned him, and his father strangled his soul through money, cursing, threats, and suffered him to the point of death and suicide, and treated him unfairly. He reminded me a lot of my father and his alcholic rages where he curses and screams and abused my own mother. I sometimes wonder if Poe's abuses was channeled into his work, and if it is and it does, then a lot of people dismissed it as fictional work and imagination and repressed desires of anger and urges that was controlled and supressed by the puritan Christian society of his time, but I think this substance and emotional abuse was shown in the letters of the women he pursued and sadly to say, I bet some of the people who disliked him may have look down on him and seen hima as a hick. Either way, the society back then do not understand that his nerves and temper were not signs of madness, but a chemical imbalance of the brain that is prone to manic episodes of depression. A bipolar disorder as we understood today.

Anyways, thinking about Fatherhood now, this brought a lot of thought on his part, and I can feel he's very sorry about this lack of lesson in his life, including his own marriage. I think if I'm a Poe child, I can forgive Edgar as an absentee, negliget dad too. My father died poor, penniless, and leaving me nothing to sustain, even money for college.

The other night, before I go to sleep, Edgar said I look like a nun. He said Geneive or Bedievere. Bedievere turns out to be a knight of Arthur who is the last person to upheld the honor of throwing Excalibur back into the lake, because Arthur died. I'm like, "Poe, that's creepy because it's concidental." We all know he's fascinating with death. :P

~

"I rather like your house. It's small, quiet, and cozy."

"You're joking, Edgar. My mom and brother make too much noise at night that I can barely sleep. The reason you like it here, because you get to stay here for free. =3="

"All the more reason to stay comfortable!"

~

This happened after I read and surmised what really happened to Virginia, Edgar's true wife. I recieve some nudgings and Edgar looked at me with those sad, begging, puppy eyes.

"Yes, Edgar, how can I help you?"

"If it's not too much to ask, may I bring Virginia too?"

"Huh? Why?"

"She comes with me wherever I go. And when you do tarot sessions or writing stories, she'll be by my side. She'll harm nobody and she's sweet."

"Okay, but I can't see why she likes me. I'm not into children, even though she and I are roughly the same age."

"She won't make a fuss and won't make a noise. And maybe if you need help, she can help you. She can make herself useful."

After some thought, "Is she Sigyn to you?" Facepalm.

"Absolutely. She is my very breath and my life. She is my bride. And my friend. I love her." Goes on and on. Okay I get it.

"Sure, she can stand by and observe."

He looks absolutely delighted and now I feel a different kind of Poe I never felt before. And furthurmore, I feel my own patience and compassion expand. I think he felt a LOT better when I said I believe she is Poe's true soulmate. We shall see.

~


I remember I have a daydream vision of Poe getting himself into a duel. I was studying the French Revolution at the time for the entire week due to my fascination with the anime Rose of Versailles and the real Marie Antoinette, and studying how people conduct duels.

I was reading Virginia Clem, because I wanted to know her more, and it turns out there WAS a duel and a pistol was involved, but the duel was more of a fistfight over a scandal over an older women.

Either way, I got the praise, "She protected me." When Virginia promised him to be his guardian angel.

~
Just talking about spending nearly $10 on a certain book. Poe gave me a very grim face, as if he felt bad of me spending.

I'm like, "Dear Heart, it's your work and her work that you both created together. Even though I don't like it, it felt like paying YOU through your chosen channel for the WORK that you do. You earned it sweetheart. Besides, in a month or two, the debt can be paid off easy peasy."

With a sigh of relief, he breaths and relax, and mumbled, "Sorry, I wish it was...I wish it was better. I want to live up to your expectations."

"Be yourself and have fun, and embrace the magic around. That's what I wish for."

To wish happiness, compassion, and empathy for another, that's a good lesson to work on.

Sorry Edgar, but I got very high opinions and I'm a tough critic of my own person.

I really don't like the book. The book is more about the woman's journey of being a skeptic and disbelief of her own powers as a medium and psychic. Then her story of her life's journey of kids, married life, career, and then visiting old haunts and places in America and her trip to Bailtimore, Edgar's hometown help fit the missing pieces together to make a bigger picture and how they're both related in some lives.

I was bored to death of this book.

What I was looking for is channeling words from the man himself and giving lectures on the natural of the human soul, but all I find is how Edgar helps the author solve mystery crimes and death. I mean, that's great and all, and I know that probably what Edgar wanted as a career and job on the side and I do like her historical research she painstakingly research.

But I found this book very annoying for me to read. Edgar isn't kidding that he told me he was intoxicated to death, but I skipped to the end (and I'll will read the rest of it later when I'm in the mood:

( *SPOILER ALERT* )

Still, for all of it's historical facts and the trouble the author goes through to understand him, her book did spark an interest. I bought the book, because she didn't talk about him in her journal or blog at all, and this saddens me because I was looking for references and background to work with him.

My only thoughts are, "Is there more to the man than just finding dead assholes who couldn't move themselves from the Earth planes? Is there more than meets the eye to the human spirit?"

3 of Swords, 5 of cups, 9 of swords, Death, The Wheel, 8 of Wands, Ace of Swords

There are periods of extreme loss and misfortune, but it was linked to worries, sorrow, past lives, illusions made unreal by depression, and burden made in the mind. Death comes to a full disclosure and there's a period of intense internal changes. There a sense of unable to move on, but things will turn for the better as this is a hectic and harried time, and things are happening too soon and too much for a lot of changes. Communication will start again at the right time, with new thoughts and new energy and new perspectives on the image of the Eternal Self.

Give him time, and don't jump to conclusions. He means well.

"I can function as a guide for you, but you can't hurry things. You need to stop, tune in, and listen!"

Makes an imaptience face at him. Yeah, totally didn't like waiting. Not one bit.

The following pictures captures the symbolism of my admiration of the Master's skills with the written word, the pen, the mind, the inspiration to succeed int he area of the imagination. I look for Raven, roses, keys as keywords.

~


Holy de Fount @ ravenandrosearts.com




From Hidden Realm Tarot.


( Cut for the size )