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So during dinner with my mother and I, I'm mentally recieving ideas and thoughts from Edgar (with his wife Virginia quietly on stand-by and observing, and offering suggestions). We were having a very lively conversation and thoughts and ideas for a future work. Through the tarot divinations, I keep getting from Edgar that he wasn't certain or sure how this is going to work, because I wasn't very clear. I started out as "friends" and "lovers" as a template/module to unravel and open the can of karmic whoop-ass in the area of relationships of our lives.
We discussed a lot about what is romantic love and it's nature, and the dynamics of relationships, and comparing ourselves to the relationships to others. H.P Lovecraft was thrown in the mix, but I figured he's a very quiet professor-like person who preferred solitude and he isn't drawn to us at the moment. We even discussed the thought of children, because I learned for that single lifetime, he and Virginia have no children at all. Their dire situation, poverty, tradegy, and losses wouldn't allow them to have children, let alone to sustain them.
Funny enough, he's more interested in my comparison to his relationship to Loki and Sigyn. Poe is very well-versed in mythology and maybe knows a little more than me at this moment. Sigyn was interpreted as a "child-like" bride by some Lokean researchers and followers as their UPG. My reaction toward "child-bride" is that of....face-palm worthy is a nice way to put it, because for many years, I saw Sigyn as a grown-up woman who stood her ground well.
I said, "Loki is a very different entity." Plus, the Loki I know and cared about isn't the Loki known to people, because my Loki is actually a name and aspected energy I given to a spirit guide.
Anyway, we discussed things furthur. There's a certain discomfort of being lovers and spouse because there is a mention of Godspouses in the mix. I know it's not totally safe to say, "Oh, I'm a wife of the spirit of Edgar." Because that make absolutely no sense at all and it was total dramatic horseshit by itself already hahaha, and I wanted to shed my ego and my pain. And I made plans to go back to my main spirit husband, Arthur.
Plus another main reason was because if this legacy of pointless marriages and proposals continue, then we haven't learn anything from our mistakes in the past. Plus, the point of this relationship is spiritual lessons and learning a lot from each other by playing roles.
It's safe for people to be a spouse/devotees of the deities and gods, because it's a Universal Spirit that is available to all for the spiritual assistance, but Edgar is a singular soul and entity that has taken a lot of damage in one single lifetime to advance his own spirit.
So I said to him, "Well, you and Virginia have no children. Have you ever experience what is like raising a child?" Because I can named how many numerous women just imagined having astral/spirit children and pregnancies to the point of absurdity.
"Virginia always wanted to raise babies." Edgar said. "But we're too poor to let alone raising one."
With some thought, "Why not try to be a father-like figure? You know, you can still mentor me and treat me like a child and a student, plus I figured you wanted daugthers anyway. Because I'm an adult already, I can take care of myself, and it's much better this way."
I felt an encouragement and nudging Virginia like this idea and she wanted to play along too, and have some fun. To my surprise, she is very nice and felt very animated and lively, even around me. I was afraid of being disliked, but I'm learning so much in the area of compassion and empathy, and not feeling guilt or burden in what happened in the past (or worrying about the future).
"Why a good idea. I like that. I like that very much." And Edgar feel pleased.
I feel there is much food for thought to reflect and meditate upon, and we come to our full closure of much learning and advancement of like mind and spirits.
And what's amazing is that up until now, I didn't discuss about aliens and starseeds with Edgar, at least...not yet. We're just unraveling the our memories and our lives, as if in fond nostalagia, everything else is history.
So there you have it, this is how I become a child and mentor of Poe. And that make a LOT of sense, because then I can expand the shrine and journal more, since I mentioned Hecate as my mother too, and being her child.
I'm learning from Poe's mistake from the past, especially concerning where Fatherhood is concerned. Poe parents abandoned him, and his father strangled his soul through money, cursing, threats, and suffered him to the point of death and suicide, and treated him unfairly. He reminded me a lot of my father and his alcholic rages where he curses and screams and abused my own mother. I sometimes wonder if Poe's abuses was channeled into his work, and if it is and it does, then a lot of people dismissed it as fictional work and imagination and repressed desires of anger and urges that was controlled and supressed by the puritan Christian society of his time, but I think this substance and emotional abuse was shown in the letters of the women he pursued and sadly to say, I bet some of the people who disliked him may have look down on him and seen hima as a hick. Either way, the society back then do not understand that his nerves and temper were not signs of madness, but a chemical imbalance of the brain that is prone to manic episodes of depression. A bipolar disorder as we understood today.
Anyways, thinking about Fatherhood now, this brought a lot of thought on his part, and I can feel he's very sorry about this lack of lesson in his life, including his own marriage. I think if I'm a Poe child, I can forgive Edgar as an absentee, negliget dad too. My father died poor, penniless, and leaving me nothing to sustain, even money for college.
We discussed a lot about what is romantic love and it's nature, and the dynamics of relationships, and comparing ourselves to the relationships to others. H.P Lovecraft was thrown in the mix, but I figured he's a very quiet professor-like person who preferred solitude and he isn't drawn to us at the moment. We even discussed the thought of children, because I learned for that single lifetime, he and Virginia have no children at all. Their dire situation, poverty, tradegy, and losses wouldn't allow them to have children, let alone to sustain them.
Funny enough, he's more interested in my comparison to his relationship to Loki and Sigyn. Poe is very well-versed in mythology and maybe knows a little more than me at this moment. Sigyn was interpreted as a "child-like" bride by some Lokean researchers and followers as their UPG. My reaction toward "child-bride" is that of....face-palm worthy is a nice way to put it, because for many years, I saw Sigyn as a grown-up woman who stood her ground well.
I said, "Loki is a very different entity." Plus, the Loki I know and cared about isn't the Loki known to people, because my Loki is actually a name and aspected energy I given to a spirit guide.
Anyway, we discussed things furthur. There's a certain discomfort of being lovers and spouse because there is a mention of Godspouses in the mix. I know it's not totally safe to say, "Oh, I'm a wife of the spirit of Edgar." Because that make absolutely no sense at all and it was total dramatic horseshit by itself already hahaha, and I wanted to shed my ego and my pain. And I made plans to go back to my main spirit husband, Arthur.
Plus another main reason was because if this legacy of pointless marriages and proposals continue, then we haven't learn anything from our mistakes in the past. Plus, the point of this relationship is spiritual lessons and learning a lot from each other by playing roles.
It's safe for people to be a spouse/devotees of the deities and gods, because it's a Universal Spirit that is available to all for the spiritual assistance, but Edgar is a singular soul and entity that has taken a lot of damage in one single lifetime to advance his own spirit.
So I said to him, "Well, you and Virginia have no children. Have you ever experience what is like raising a child?" Because I can named how many numerous women just imagined having astral/spirit children and pregnancies to the point of absurdity.
"Virginia always wanted to raise babies." Edgar said. "But we're too poor to let alone raising one."
With some thought, "Why not try to be a father-like figure? You know, you can still mentor me and treat me like a child and a student, plus I figured you wanted daugthers anyway. Because I'm an adult already, I can take care of myself, and it's much better this way."
I felt an encouragement and nudging Virginia like this idea and she wanted to play along too, and have some fun. To my surprise, she is very nice and felt very animated and lively, even around me. I was afraid of being disliked, but I'm learning so much in the area of compassion and empathy, and not feeling guilt or burden in what happened in the past (or worrying about the future).
"Why a good idea. I like that. I like that very much." And Edgar feel pleased.
I feel there is much food for thought to reflect and meditate upon, and we come to our full closure of much learning and advancement of like mind and spirits.
And what's amazing is that up until now, I didn't discuss about aliens and starseeds with Edgar, at least...not yet. We're just unraveling the our memories and our lives, as if in fond nostalagia, everything else is history.
So there you have it, this is how I become a child and mentor of Poe. And that make a LOT of sense, because then I can expand the shrine and journal more, since I mentioned Hecate as my mother too, and being her child.
I'm learning from Poe's mistake from the past, especially concerning where Fatherhood is concerned. Poe parents abandoned him, and his father strangled his soul through money, cursing, threats, and suffered him to the point of death and suicide, and treated him unfairly. He reminded me a lot of my father and his alcholic rages where he curses and screams and abused my own mother. I sometimes wonder if Poe's abuses was channeled into his work, and if it is and it does, then a lot of people dismissed it as fictional work and imagination and repressed desires of anger and urges that was controlled and supressed by the puritan Christian society of his time, but I think this substance and emotional abuse was shown in the letters of the women he pursued and sadly to say, I bet some of the people who disliked him may have look down on him and seen hima as a hick. Either way, the society back then do not understand that his nerves and temper were not signs of madness, but a chemical imbalance of the brain that is prone to manic episodes of depression. A bipolar disorder as we understood today.
Anyways, thinking about Fatherhood now, this brought a lot of thought on his part, and I can feel he's very sorry about this lack of lesson in his life, including his own marriage. I think if I'm a Poe child, I can forgive Edgar as an absentee, negliget dad too. My father died poor, penniless, and leaving me nothing to sustain, even money for college.
